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Kieron 2001-06-12 12:39

Lemme show y'all how it's done...

This is my new fanfic. I'm not posting it here cos it's too long, so please please please follow the link and download it. (It might be easier to right-click on the link and select 'save target as...').

I know people can't always be bothered following links, but please follow this one! I want to know what you think.

Only use the text only version if the others don't work, cos it's really hard to read.

New FanFic (Word 97 / 2000 version)
New FanFic (WordPad / Word 6 / Word 95 version)
New FanFic (Text only)

I've put my old fanfic here too, just in case you happen to want to read it. (In my opinion, the old one's better anyway!)

Old FanFic (Word 97/2000 version)
Old FanFic (WordPad/Word 6 version)
Old FanFic (text only)

Lightwing 2001-06-12 18:20

1st two links don't work.

Darkflame 2001-06-12 18:49

They do, "Save Target As", Browsers can't open word files.

wacko 2001-06-12 19:17

Man it's huge. Whoaah.
I'll read it if I find the time.

Anyway, great job!

Keds 2001-06-12 19:46

Looks very promising Kieron. I've saved it to my hard drive and read the first page, but like Wacko - I'll have to wait untill I have some more time.

I like the fact that you've actually made use of some writting tehniques, making it seem more professional than alot of fanfic I've read (not specificlly LBA, because I've never read any before), I. E. not always reffering to your protagonist as Davi or "he". The variation makes for more interesting reading.

I also liked the refference to the culture gap between Rabbibunnys and Quetches... the languages, the architechture and so on. Very clever.

I think you know all this though. The title of your thread is a dead give-away ;)

Kieron 2001-06-13 00:49

Hehe sorry about that title, it was only a little joke. I know I look a bit big-headed sometimes.

If it's good it's only because I'm studying English Language, which is a big advantage. And I put the language stuff in... just because... I love languages. Especially European ones (I'm studying Spanish and French but at University I'll be doing Spanish and Italian). Anyone want lessons in Rabbibunny?


Kieron 2001-06-13 00:51


Originally posted by Darkflame
They do, "Save Target As", Browsers can't open word files.

IE5 does, if you've got Word 97+.

Keds 2001-06-13 01:57


Originally posted by Kieron

If it's good it's only because I'm studying English Language

Perhaps I'm fanning the fire a little here, but it's not all down to education. Obviously close study and reading a lot of texts will have a bearing on how you write, but all the same - talent is talent. I think you have a nice style. What I've read certainly sounds more advanced than the average college student.


Kieron 2001-06-13 02:38

(head swells) Well who said I was average? :) Nonono please don't take that seriously, I hate it when people think I'm big-headed...

Are you at uni, Keds? See, I noticed you've changed your profile, and neither your DOB nor your city are any longer on there. So I can't tell if you're a uni student or a 6th-former.

Qu'est-ce qui se passe? Perhaps you were hoping we hadn't noticed you were studying at Cambridge?

Keds 2001-06-13 15:38

Yeah, I changed the profile. The age was never there in the first place. I don't usually put my age out on forums\ML's because I find that it effects the way people talk to me. Obviously here I now know it wouldn't make any difference since virtually everyone's a student\teenager. I don't go to Cambridge uni though :)

I took the 'Cambridge' part of my location out mainly because I thought it was irrelevant. Am I right to think you and Darkflame are the only other English people on here? Maybe I'll put it back now you mention it.

Now I'm off to read your fan fic. Perhaps more coffee first though...

Darkflame 2001-06-13 16:17

There loads of English people here now...

Kieron 2001-06-13 22:48

Are the netherlands still ahead though?

AND HAS ANYONE ELSE READ THE FANFIC?! Please read it! I wanna know what you all think.

Atresica 2001-06-14 00:03

I'm sorry I don't know how to say this but your fic sucks, if you wish to read a true master piece read mine

just kidding but your tread-title asked for it

It's good, very good. Esspecially the fighting scenes are full of suspence, the language stuff is very inventive

Only one minor and I have to point this one out as keeper of the Facts: Hegesippe was killed by La Bourghe accourding the rune text in LBA 1...

Kieron 2001-06-14 01:08

Really? Oops... I could change it, but I like it the way it is. And anyway, he needs to have children and continue the line of Heirs!

But anyway thanx Atresica!

Rex_Hollywood 2001-06-14 16:26

WOW! That's long!
Tell me when the movie's out...

Lightwing 2001-06-14 19:01

Hihihi, the rabbibunnies speak french, lol

Your story is very amazing Keiron. Very discriptive, with nice diction of vocabulary. Its just unbelievable.....some things I want to point out.

-According to the reference in Relentless, La Borge and Hegasipe were both killed during the fight. The pirate murdered Hegesipe.......and then i know he sank with the ship along with his "treasure".

You might want to add an epiloge in the end, so that the ending may not seem so sudden.

Otherwise, i found the story very impressive.

Kieron 2001-06-15 00:29

Thanx Lightwing!

I know about that, Atresica told me. :o I could change it, but I like it the way it is really. FanFics don't have to stay exactly to the official info, do they?

Oh and BTW it's not French, it's a made-up language. :)

Lightwing 2001-06-15 20:09

Well, most of the words there were french.....

It is your story, your whatever you want with it.....but then if you do write something like that, its like writting several versions of LBA2 and they're all diferent......I dunno. When I write prequels I like to stay that when I write it, it's not just some story, its also a reference.....but that's just the way I feel.

Kieron 2001-06-15 21:12

Well, you know, that's what I would have said before I wrote it... now I don't want to change it and I'm making up excuses. :D

V2 2001-06-15 23:02


Originally posted by Kieron
If it's good it's only because I'm studying English Language, which is a big advantage. And I put the language stuff in... just because... I love languages. Especially European ones (I'm studying Spanish and French but at University I'll be doing Spanish and Italian). Anyone want lessons in Rabbibunny?
i'm incredibly damn sorry for going way too off topic (sorry i have a mac so i can't view these files of your fan fic). but you're studying Europian Languages and you don't learn Greek?????..... even Latin come from Greek...


that's it. everything's lost now. now i think that too. maybe i should have realised this earlier. Greece has become a big failure :( *desperate*

Kieron 2001-06-16 00:37

The language is based on Latinate languages so that's why some of the words and grammar are similar to Latin, French, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, etc.

Yeh... Greek isn't classed as a 'European' language, by that we usually mean:

Latinate (or 'Romance') - French, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese and derivatives
Norse (or 'Germanic') - German, English, Welsh and Irish Gaelic, Dutch, Flemish, the Scandinavian languages
Eastern European (those using the Cyrillic alphabet)

Greek is usually classed as an 'Eastern' language rather than a 'European' one. Well, at least to us Brits it is...

Anyway, ancient Greek had some bearing on Latin (Latin didn't really come from Greek though), but not modern Greek! Compared to how similar the Latinate languages are to Latin, modern Greek has virtually no resemblance to ancient Greek. So, er... that's why no-one learns Greek. :p

Atresica 2001-06-16 01:03


Ancient Greek and Ancient Latin were completely different languages, but when the two empires 'discovered' each other they used many words from each other

The 'modern' Greek is a mix between mainly Latin and ancient Greek (as far as I know)

Kieron 2001-06-16 02:10

Well I admit, I know next to no Greek, but when I was in Crete I didn't see anything even remotely Latinate. And I was looking!

For example, the most obvious feature of a 'European' language is that the negative words ('no' or 'not' etc.) begin with 'n.' But in Greek I think 'ne' means 'yes,' and 'okhi' means 'no,' which is completely different. I know that's only one feature, but it's things like that that show modern Greek has no resemblance to Latin, or much to ancient Greek.

V2 2001-06-16 11:09

nope, you're wrong. modern greek is based very much on ancient greek. many many words are the same or almost the same. and Greek had a big influence on latin. when the romans conquired Greece, they got very impressed of our civilisation. they began to move statues from Greece to Italy, they learnt Greek and copied many architectural structures. when the capital of roman empire was moved to Byzantium, latin began to fade and eventually Greek became the language they spoke. it was all destroyed when Turkey conquired Byzantium

wacko 2001-06-16 12:10

V2: in fact you can see the fanfics with a Mac, just download the text-only version and view it with a normal text editor.

I don't know a damn thing about Greek and Latin.... :-/

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