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Old 2021-10-01, 02:04
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CS2x CS2x is offline
inharmonic explorer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: London
Posts: 1,998
Originally Posted by johnnybrubacker View Post
Glad it's helping you man but zolpidem/zopiclone and the like can be addictive. Have you tried meditation? I found that the best to deal with my crippling insomnia (although that was more anxiety driven rather than physiological related like yours seems to be)
Thanks for the post. I actually went through a year of very intense insomnia from 2018, before this tinnitus, so I can relate to you. I mean many nights of either zero sleep, or something ludicrous like 2 hours a night. It was crazy and awful and I don't know what brought it on, and few could relate. Weirdly the insomnia came first, and then anxiety built around the issue of sleep to an extreme degree. (It was also funny hearing people say things like, "yeah, I have sleep problems too! The other night I only managed to get six hours." I was thinking at the time, "six hours!? I would be totally overjoyed with that...")

You're right about zopiclone and zolpidem being addictive. It's a hard balance, because a certain kind of insomnia seems to beat all mind games and calming methods and tools experts tell you. And so often nights seem to be a choice between another night of no sleep, or taking a drug. You are probably right that mastering meditation of a certain variety would be a safer way to deal with it, however. I found all the standard methods (I tried them all!) and all the sleep hygiene stuff actually made me even worse in that period, and more fixated on sleep. It got better when I finally took seriously my wife's approach, and the approach one doctor said, which was truly believing this: "I am resting tonight. If sleep comes, that's a bonus. It doesn't matter if I don't sleep; I just need to remain restful. Sleep will eventually come; if not tonight or even the next night, it will still come." Of course I know sleep is important for health, but it was necessary to force myself to take away the need to sleep. Sleep "happens" and can't be performed or coerced (as I know you probably know well!)

Anyway, I got over that and started sleeping great again. Wonderful! And then tinnitus struck. LOL. And actually I could usually sleep with that initial tinnitus, until further issues happened to the ears and the tinnitus went to a severe level. And so sometimes the choice seems to be Zolpidem or diazepam or wine or whatever or no sleep, again. However, there is less anxiety than last time, because I survived a year of no sleep and didn't loose my mind, and so I know the same can happen again. Zolpidem also seems to do something to the sound of the tinnitus - it "softens" it, and I'm also very sensitive to it and get tripped out. I musn't enjoy that too much or get used to it, as you say, because that would a dangerous trip downwards. But I can't judge people who get into these spirals; many of them are terrible anxious and besieged by pain in other ways. None of us or few of us would be making these choices if we didn't have physiological or psychological happenings we didn't want and never expected to have.

Anyway, enough rambling. I don't know why I always do this on the MBN!?
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