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  #1  
Old 2002-09-20, 10:33
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bunnyrabbot02 bunnyrabbot02 is offline
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Twinsen The Traly Project - A Little Big Adventure 3 Fan Fic / Blair With Project parody

The Traly Project

A Little Big Adventure 3 Fan Fic / Blair With Project parody

PG rated

This fic is happening twenty years after LBA 2, where Twinsen & Zoe's kid had moved.

Both the long and thin insect like, and the huge bear like Traly, was told to live in the isolated areas of Twinsun.
Twinsen, Zoe and Baldino decided to go up to the highlands of Citadel Island, with a handheld camera, where the mythological Traly was told to haunt the forests, the caves, and the sewer systems.
Twinsen said 'The Traly is told to have scared everybody away from the highland, and the underground in hundreds of years', and Zoé said 'And if it finds us, do I really think it will eat us alive!'.
Twinsen said 'I forgot my weapons, and everything else, but I think that I can defeat the Traly with my own hands, but if there is a army hidden somewhere, do we not have a change to survive!'.
The two Quetcshs, and the Grobo got sat a tent up by the woodbridge, where they got a magnificent view over the ocean, where the sun began to set, and Baldino said 'I can't sleep with the thoughts of this beast, so I stay outside, and keep guard!', and Twinsen said 'Good luck!'.
Only the cow, and the Grobo Zed, who collected mushroom up in the highlands was in sight, and Zoé said 'Here is very peaceful, until now!', but as the darkness came, was there too quiet, and in the meanwhile, did Twinsen and Zoé fall asleep.
As Twinsen and Zoé awoke by loud noises outside the tent, whispered Twinsen 'What is happening now?', and Zoé whispered 'Maybe it was the weather wizard, or the cow!', but both the cow, and Baldino was gone, and Twinsen said 'This is not too promising!'.
Twinsen said to Zoé 'I wonder where Baldino are! He can't just run away from it all, we can't trust this cowardly guy any longer!', and Zoé said 'It's no wonder why Miss Bloop got divorced with Baldino!'.
Then Twinsen and Zoé ran over to the weather wizards tent with their camera, the wizard was awoke.
The wizard said 'I understand why you want my company! That thing out there is really dangerous! And if it's come inside here, will I use my forceful spells!'.
As Twinsen, Zoe and the wizard awoke, did they take a breakfast, and as they got outside, and felt the boiling heat from the twin suns, Twinsen and Zoés tent had disappeared, and Twinsen said ‘That can only be the Traly!’.
Something sneaked up behind them, Twinsen got beaten down, and he said ‘That Traly is gonna pay for that!’, and after a short fight, where Twinsen got the monster defeated, said the weather wizard ‘This is not a Traly!’.
Twinsen found out that it was Baldino in a Traly costume, and Twinsen said ‘Baldino! So, it was you, who was a Traly in disguise! I hope that a real Traly will take you away, after all that you’ve done to us!’.
The wizard asked ‘Should I fire a lightning spell after Baldino?’, and Twinsen said ‘No! I would take him to the prison cell in the caves, where he can be kept for a while, until he get’s better!’.
Baldino got arrested, and taken down to his prison cell, and as he got free, became Twinsen and Baldino good friends again, and Baldino swore not to do criminal things like that again.
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Old 2002-09-20, 12:40
Atresica Atresica is offline
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Pretty neat

But I would advice you to make the dialogues a bit clearer. Often it's better to use it this way

"<saying something," said person 1
"<saying something," replied person 2

if you get what I mean
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Old 2002-09-21, 08:03
Lightwing Lightwing is offline
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Interamasting. Kinda tranquil. Nice job chap.
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