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Fan Fics Place for your fan fictions

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  #1  
Old 2001-11-20, 00:03
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Kieron Kieron is offline
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Second Coming

Yes, the Christ of all FanFics (me ) has returned with a much-belated new chapter...

You can (WILL ) read my old ones too!
The new one is the second chapter of the "War" FanFic.

My FanFics

And can I have some feedback?

And I'm sorry all you moderator-type people that I posted this here and not in the fan offering forum but it just wouldn't have been seen down there!
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  #2  
Old 2001-11-20, 00:48
Lightwing Lightwing is offline
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I haven't read it yet. I'll read it when I have time. But I think you did this unfairly, seeing as how other people DID post their work in FanFiction sections.
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  #3  
Old 2001-11-20, 01:03
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Kieron Kieron is offline
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I suppose it is unfair

(I'm sorry )

But it would be nice for the fanfic section to be up here near offtopic, where all the people live
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Old 2001-11-20, 01:14
Atresica Atresica is offline
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==> Fanfiction

most people use the "new posts" button at the righttop of the screen, don't fear no one would take a look at it.


The story does sound interesting but there are some things that don't really appeal to me that much (mostlikely because I don't know the rest of the story)
Anyway, keep on working
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Old 2001-11-20, 02:17
Lightwing Lightwing is offline
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Hmm...I think what you are lacking Kieron is that the chapters don't really seem to have any turn around points...It all seems just like an individual set of events. Like something taken out of a history book and then described in detail. It doesn't circle around a sertain person and his point of view...maybe its just that you intent for the book to be that way. But still, felt that the chapter lacked much of any suspence or any turn around points.

The whole story just seems...I don't know...there's nothing in it that takes you back or surpirses you...or makes you want to read more.

I did like your discriptive work though, but you gotta look deeper. I suggested to think of a very developed story, before you write it. And actually go back, and change it, and then think of how you can put suspence in it, and develope the plot.

P.S. Please don't take this offensively, but rather as some helpfull tips from your readers .

P.P.S. Oh, and Atresica, you did read his other previous chapter. Or so you said...you might have forgotten it cause its been so long.
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Old 2001-11-20, 02:21
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Kieron Kieron is offline
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Well ok then

Hmmm, I'll have to think.

Error in kernel32.dll

File not found: think.dll
Library corrupted or not installed
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Old 2001-11-20, 02:23
Lightwing Lightwing is offline
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I think you just need to get involved in your story more, thats all.
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  #8  
Old 2001-11-20, 02:26
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Well I've got some ideas now but I'm not changing the old ones, I'm going to change my plan a bit for the third chapter. I've done too much setting-up-the-plot and not enough charactery stuff. Yes. This is what it is. And in the next chapter it's all supposed to be the rebellion and its leader Garrett, the dark Wizards and their leader Abanda, and Zera somewhere between with a moral dilemma.

Now you see I've spared you the trouble of reading the third chapter by telling you the entire premise.
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Old 2001-11-20, 19:25
Atresica Atresica is offline
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Lightwing, I've read the first part

Keiron, doesn't matter, I'm interested how your going to put it on paper
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