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  #1  
Old 2003-03-29, 03:00
Lightwing Lightwing is offline
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Angel Sanctuary

Forgotten Generations
Coeval 7 - Part I

Noted Vocabulary
Kironah: Twinsun
Deocratio: Universe of Order
Harberien: One of Seven Sanctuary rocks. For more information, consult Atresica.
_________________________________________________



Far from the civilized plane of Kironah, in the distant corners of Deocratio, realms a mystic world of arcadia. It is a macroscopic sanctum, yielded by the substances of Gaia and birthed in the light that secreted through the Harberiëns. An endless cluster of floating continents and islands scatter through its clouded surface. They are evergreen, bathed in olympian light and dipped in sublimeness of the mountain air. Elemental spirits walk this earth. They rest beneath the crystal waters of the lakes. They bloom upon the surface of the naked planes. And dance within the deep spectrum of the forest floors, where rays of sunshine pierce with razors of a neon light. A golden aura shatters through these lands, nourishing the ambrosial soil and augmenting hues of emblazoned petals, thus beautified forevermore beneath the majesty of ocular perception.
The Gobli Mountains, a range broken upon a throng of islands, stretches into a spontaneous formation. Some peaks reach into distances where no life roams, with icy surfaces covering their top. Still, others, the smaller siblings of these titanic hills, reside among shorter heights. From mountain peaks an endless flow of water falls and beats upon another surface floor, where streams and lakes conceive into existence. There, without permission or consent a myriad of grass blades strikes through the bases of fresh soil and waves its fragile bodies against the mountain breeze.
Just to the north of these ranges floats a small pack of isles, lying isolated from the rest of the Gobli regions. It is a floating ring that forms around Mountain Xaviar, a majestic heap of terrain that reaches far into the upper clouds. The base is coiled with rocky ridges and the surroundings are saturated with grasslands. A tranquil mist drifts about this place, like a giant sentinel that covers the realm with its clouded membrane.
The bright orb of light struck him in full and Alvin was forced to squint his eyelids. He felt rough textures scratching beneath his palm as the grip around the rocky surface tightened. It bugged him deeply in how the sun was able to radiate so vividly that it blinded his path and all the while did not produce any heat. He regarded the bright sun and the icy breeze around him with contempt.
Such mockery.
Alvin turned his back to the glowing sunrise and began to venture westward around the mountain. After some minutes and a few turns here and there, another realization brought him to annoyance. He had been climbing up the mountainside for miles now. Being so young in age and rejuvenated in energy the exercise did not bring about much discomfort. On the contrary, it was quite an exiting trip; one that flexed his bones and roughened his infantile skin. It was the upcoming descent that bothered him so much.
What was the point of it all, anyway? If he fell and the first try would fail him Lucius would probably have to dive in for the catch. He would bring him back up and another try would follow.
Alvin smirked as he thought of the symbolism that could be engraved behind this. It was the sanctuary tradition.
A man must first climb to the mountaintop before he can become an angel.
Alvin shook his head and more contempt followed. He felt the stalking rays of sunlight pursuing his presence, continuously beating down on his back. He could absorb light just as well as the feeling of the stone underneath his bare palm. It was part of his nature. He was a follower of light and he took pause upon considering his master. That light, that source of vision within the darkness, it was always there, hanging amidst the dimness of the tunnel. Feeling the absence of what the sun could give him, he felt that he was closer to the true nature of light than one could ever be. Light cannot grant you safety or warmth. Rather, it is just there, lurking at the end of that tunnel. You can see the light, even try to catch it, but it always manages to flee your grasp. Travel the tunnel with the goal to seek the light and you will walk it for eternity. The light itself deceives you, Alvin pondered as he passed. That is why all those who walk the tunnel in search of the light never come out. They aim in capturing it and end up being captured by the light themselves. Like death, they do not understand its presence. They either accept the position that it should be conquered or seek it to defeat them. No one understands that the light is merely a guide. Perhaps it is a sign informing you to distinct it from the darkness and follow that instead.
The path curved and Alvin felt the presence of the sun loosing sight of him as he ventured to the other side of the mountain.
Enough.
He struck his thoughts and exiled them away.
No more philosophical rubble. The moment of his longing dreams was approaching. A fresh, undistracted mind would be required if they were to be achieved. It was upon this sudden awakening that sounds of mild distress reached him from the back. Alvin turned and paced the slope as he descended downward. It struck him then that he did not care to notice just how far he had ventured ahead.
She had one hand grasping at her side and another leaning against a ridge of the mountain. Dark hair, most of which outskirts rested upon her back, dispersed all around her scalp. Some began to slide from her shoulders as she angled them towards the ground. The girl was sighing rather heavily and upon spotting Alvin striding down the path she managed to form a tiny smile at the far corner of her mouth. He approached her hastily and gently placed his fingertips upon her bare forearm.

A suivre...
Be on the lookout for Part II next friday. Have a good weekend.

Last edited by Lightwing; 2003-03-29 at 03:21.
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  #2  
Old 2003-03-29, 03:15
Atresica Atresica is offline
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How I am amazed by your skills... there are little writers, even profecional, whom surpass your usage of detail and description.

The only critisism I have is that it's sometimes a bit over the top, but that might also be because it's damn late here

I can't wait until you will release a chapter again
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Old 2003-03-29, 03:23
Lightwing Lightwing is offline
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"A bit over the top"?

You mean the amount of advanced vocabulary. Or do you mean, the content of description in general.

Thanks for your comment.
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  #4  
Old 2003-03-29, 12:18
Atresica Atresica is offline
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amount of advanced vocabularity

And as normaly, this is being completely ignored...
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  #5  
Old 2003-03-29, 21:18
Lightwing Lightwing is offline
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That's okay, I'm used to it.
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  #6  
Old 2003-03-29, 21:24
ChaosFish ChaosFish is offline
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I'd love to read it, but it's too much English for me... I'm too lazy.
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  #7  
Old 2003-03-29, 21:31
Lightwing Lightwing is offline
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Okay, how about I summerize it for you then.

Its the middle of nowhere (Waco, Texas) and there are a bunch of floating islands there (what Double-J sees when he's on LSD). So this guy is walking up around this mountain and talks phylosophy shit because he's taken just the right amout of 'Shrooms. Then he turns around and sees a h0t chixor and thinks "damn, that bitch is hot."

How about that?
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  #8  
Old 2003-03-29, 21:46
ChaosFish ChaosFish is offline
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Seems nice, but not LBAish enough for me...
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Old 2003-03-29, 21:49
Lightwing Lightwing is offline
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Of course it wouldn't sound LBAish. You'd have to have read the previous chapters in order to understand it.
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  #10  
Old 2003-03-29, 21:50
Atresica Atresica is offline
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Nah, that's probably because like any other person on this board, you neglected anything Lightwing ever wrote
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Old 2003-03-29, 21:53
ChaosFish ChaosFish is offline
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Odd you say that... in a matter of fact, I did started a conspiracy for ignoring Lightwing...
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Old 2003-04-04, 03:33
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Coeval 7 - Part II

“Maya,” there was worry where he spoke, “forgive me please. I got carried away and forgot all about you. Here, sit down and rest, we don’t have that far to go.”
She let him position her upon the ground and leaned her torso against the mountainside. Her small eyes gazed at him with ease and there was a bit of amusement in her voice. “If I recall correctly dear Alvin, those are the words quite near to what you told me only an hour ago.”
He regarded the girl as he positioned himself next to her. He felt the presence of those brown pupils casting their eyesight upon his weary face. Her pupils, he thought, and realized that his own eyes were starring into them. Alvin did not like to do that. It made him feel uncomfortable and completely exposed. It was a pleasant sensation that awakened a feeling of affection within him each time his gaze locked in Maya’s eyesight. He did not know for what reason, but for the past periods of time, each time their pupils would meet this sensation grew stronger. It was the return of her gaze, however, that had bothered him so much. There arose the impression that all his secrets and feelings were out in the open. Alvin knew though that it was not even a suspicion but the truth. The eyes reveal all. This he was aware of all too well now. Nevertheless, her eyes, so sweet and gentle, produced far more warmth than the sun. It felt strange that they should, for in a split second he sensed the presence of the cold around him fade away. This relaxed his tension and the boy let himself expose his embarrassment as he began to blush.
“Did I?” he spoke as he gulped visibly, “I think I lost all track of time. But now, I really do think we are close. I can see the beginning of the top from here.” Alvin then raised his head upward to pull his gaze away from her and realized that he was looking at a white collection of fog.
Her smile widened. “You see quite well, if you can spot the peak amidst this mist.”
He reddened in return. “It must be the way the sunlight hits from this perspective. Here, we’ll rest a bit and then press on. I think that Evelyn and Lucius can wait for a few more minutes while we rest. I believe you deserve this after the long climb.”
Maya’s breathing turned calmer and she now used her hands to strike the brunette hair running down her spine. “Tell me Alvin,” she raised her elbows as she stroke and her armpits became visible. “Do you often think so frequently?”
At this he turned a bit ashamed and curved his lower lip, but managed to pull a grin nonetheless. “Well thank you dear Maya, I should be more aware of repetition in my speech.”
She looked up at him and this time there was guilt in her tone of voice. “Oh Alvin, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to mock you when I said it. I didn’t think about,” and she was forced to pause as a smile widened upon her face, “that is, that it would come about offensively. It just sort of came out that way.”
“Don’t fret,” he replied briefly, “I believe the sun got to my head.”
She laughed then, throwing her head back and feeling the cold breeze around her as she did. After some time her laughter began to cease, turning into giggles and Alvin smiled happily, contented by the fact that he could make her laugh. He examined her as she rested. They were both peers, with Maya being a year older than he was. It was because of this minor age difference that Alvin had trouble comprehending why at times Maya would converse with him as if she was a superior. She would belittle him, relating to him the way an adult would relate to a child. It is a daunting thing, to witness both your friend and peer giving you such treatment. Alvin was clueless on how to approach Maya regarding the subject. They were close friends after all and at this he wondered why he couldn’t bring himself at confronting her. When he consulted Evelyn about it she merely chuckled at his puzzlement and added something about girls maturing at an earlier age. Somewhere in that explanation, Evelyn mentioned the term “change.” He did not quite understand what she meant by that, seeing as how the expression could have led to a variety of conclusions. Alvin was well aware of Maya’s change in her figure. However, he paid little heed to this since he considered that to be part of normal growth. He instead regarded her behavioral alter and simpered at the fact that one’s physical transformation could have such a deep effect on the psyche.
“Thank you for taking the time to wait for me,” she rested her hands upon her lap. “I’m not the jogging type. Quite the contrary actually. The farthest distance I have ventured outside of my house on foot before this morning was Benedict’s outpost. And that’s only a league or so away.”
She smiled weakly and Alvin saw as her forearms trembled mildly. “Maya, are you cold?” he spoke as he drew closer. “If I had known the winds were going to be so rough this time of day I would have brought you something warm.”
Maya’s lovely hair fell from her shoulders as she slightly lowered her head and shook it. Alvin glanced at her and then questioned with a softer tone. “You’re nervous then?”
Her dark hair bounced vertically in reply. “You know how I am,” she told him smirking at herself, “A little afraid of highs and all.”
Alvin suddenly raised his eyebrows and gasped, perhaps a little too loud because she made a sore chuckle in return. A loaf of realization swept over him for she had just reminded him of something he forgot to note. “A little” was quite an understatement. He recalled that Maya was terrified of highs. As ironic as it must have been, it was the lamentable truth and Alvin thus developed a great anxiety for the girl.
“Oh, I’m sure it won’t be that bad,” she added, attempting to reassure him. “I’m quite certain that once we take off...” Her voice began to tremble so she restarted, “Well, I mean, its only two leagues down.”
He grasped his right hand just below her shoulder, this time not hesitating to withdraw his eye contact. “Maya. Maya, look at me,” and he saw her weary eyes as she raised her face. “Listen now; it is of most importance that you realize this. You have two professionals on guard that are going to be an inch away from you through the entire process. They are both scouts, flying is like second nature to them. Why Lucius can catch you with his eyes closed. You have absolutely nothing to worry yourself over.”
“Alvin,” Maya spoke from the back of her throat, “it’s more than that.”
“I know,” he pronounced softly, “but I want you to keep this in mind and try to somehow penetrate it until you feel secure. Because, Maya, they will push you off the cliff if you resist. It is a far better thing to be aware that you are safe rather than to face horror with pessimism.”
He heard her sigh deeply and saw as she slowly nodded her head. Maya looked up at him then with a bit of a rejuvenated expression already formed about her face. The girl placed her own palm upon his forearm, smiling faintly. He witnessed as she leaned over to him with ease and gently pressed her crimson lips against his cheek. Then when Maya pulled away, Alvin saw that she too was flushing on either side of her face.
“You are the red in my pink, Alvin,” she said to him soothingly, “whatever would I do without you.”
His smile grew wider. He took the small hands lying upon her lap, raising her slowly from the ground. They shook dust from their garment, stretched around and then pressed onward with their travels, curving along the side of the mountain. Alvin took a quick glance at her flushing cheeks as the due began their march.
Must be those cold winds again.

A Suivre...
For those of you that are doubting, there IS LBA content, just be patient.
More fiction comming up next Friday. Have a good weekend.
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  #13  
Old 2003-04-04, 09:00
Atresica Atresica is offline
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I very much enjoyed this

Especially the time you took for some character development and in the way it's written quite 'solid' despite you do not know all (hard to explain, but I sometimes read things and wonder "what about that?" without having the feeling it'll be explained)
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Old 2003-04-05, 02:15
Lightwing Lightwing is offline
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Don't worry.
I once read a ten volume novel where in the end half the storyline is not explained. So, I'm very causious of that sort of thing.

Thank you very much for reading.
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  #15  
Old 2003-04-05, 12:33
Atresica Atresica is offline
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You can always count on me ^_^
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Old 2003-04-10, 02:35
Lightwing Lightwing is offline
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Coeval 7 - Part III

The rest of the trip was carried out in silence. Alvin recalled their past travels. It had been a pleasant journey from there on to the top, shared in the company of Maya and the rocky grasslands that surrounded them. The prolonging climb had depleted their rations with only the blankets left over from their two nights of sleep. During these two and a half days the due felt much closer in relation with one another. Alone and engulfed in the presence of fertility, they had exchanged much of their feelings with each other, many of which lay amongst boundaries personal in nature. Upon examining these occurrences, Alvin understood another reason behind the importance of this climb. It even saddened him that their travels made together were now drawing to an end.
However, once regarding the situation again, he felt that perhaps it was for the best. Their isolation from the rest of the world had already compressed their relationship on tighter terms. There was really nothing wrong with expanding their friendship, but a few more days in such close proximity and Alvin felt that this friendship would be taken to another level. And this he wanted to avoid. At least for now. Not until he was well aware of his own changes and where their boundaries stood.
In less than a dozen minutes the pair of travelers had reached their destination. They looked about the deserted spot, a nearly flat plateau stretching at about thirty meters in diameter. Maya gave out a sigh of relief, dropping her sleeping bag to the ground. Alvin followed her example although did not express the same level of content. He waited then for perhaps a minute or so but the anticipated mentors were no where in sight. Maya frowned.
“Do you think that we stretched the trip for so long that they couldn’t keep their patience any longer and deserted?”
“No,” he replied with the shaking of his head while still examining the surroundings with considerate attention. “They knew well that it would take us this long to reach the top of the mountain. They must have. I can even bet you that they kept an eye on us from a distance in their flight…hold on.”
He grew erect for a brief moment as the hair near his forehead stiffened. Maya’s sudden shriek reached him but this seemed to serve him of no use. The blade was in his hands already, a short-sword of a soft neon glow. The boy twisted his ankle, pressed into the ground and then lunged himself backwards. His weapon countered just in time. Although it had resulted in a push that forced him to the ground, his striker had too been reflected to the opposite direction. The taller angel flew past him, cornering aside and colliding with Maya. A second wail followed. He sprang to his feet in an instant, mainly with the support of his wings, and shook dust.
“Bah, so much for an ambush,” and he sheathed his sword. “My lady, I have distressed you,” the tall angel pleaded gallantly, “A thousand apologies in return for your benevolent forgiveness.”
She threw him a glare of disdain at first and at the hand which had now extended. Then she shook her head as a grin formed about her face. “Why good morning to you as well, Lucius,” and she let him help her to her feet.
Alvin’s expression stayed unchanged. “You expected me to dodge that one?”
He nodded back, “Would have been far less of a risk for you.”
“I’m a guardian, not a scout,” the boy spoke firmly, “Remember that as you cowardly sneak upon your enemies and retreat in the same manner.” Maya placed a hand over her mouth as she chuckled briefly and Lucius responded with a teasing tsok.
“You speak so boldly, for someone who has yet to see his own wings labor.”
Alvin took the turn to sheath the weapon. “I may not know how to fly yet,” he answered coolly, “but that does not make me any less able. You on the other hand, are free to soar all you want.”
“Sorry,” the boy added quickly as he witnessed a disappointing expression on Lucius’ face, “but I think that scouts are rather overrated.”
“Tell me, do you fashion every scout this way?” a feminine voice reached him from the back and Alvin turned in an instant. He saw a rather tall girl with rich blonde hair, at an elder age of adolescence. She levitated some feet off the ground whilst appearing with a certain sense of pride. Alvin relaxed and grinned with sigh.
“Everyone except for you, of course,” and his heart fulfilled with delight upon seeing her caressive image, “my dear sister.”
“You insulted my paramour, jerk,” Lucius prompted strictly, “defend yourself, that one who loves the word of honor.”
Alvin blinked. “Your what now?”
“Changing the subject are we?” the angel winked at Alvin and then glanced over his shoulder.
“Did you say what I think you said?” and then Maya’s burst of laughter followed.
“Don’t take it so serious Alvin. I’m sure he considers every decent girl to be one.”
His eyes then suddenly expanded with enthusiasm. “My lady,” Lucius turned swiftly and bowing his torso carefully placed his lips on the back of the girl’s right hand. “That you speak truly.”
The grip around Alvin’s jaw tightened as he watched. “You better endure that one Lucius,” he blurted the words in haste. “Because when you turn around you’ll be kissing my fist.”
But the boy’s mood was instantly drawn back through Evelyn’s palm, which she had gently placed upon his shoulder. “Enough fighting has been made today,” she spoke. “No more. Today, we fly.”
Alvin bit his lip and looked away. “I’m sorry Evelyn. For a moment I forgot why we came here.”
“Well,” and she swiftly cuddled his hair, “That is why I am here. And if don’t mind, this one time, I shall be your mentor.”
“As you have always been to me, gentle sister,” he pronounced softly.
In the back, Lucius managed a smirk. “Alright, enough boot licking.”
“Luce, I still know how to summon my blade.”
“Good,” he nodded firmly, “now let’s learn how to summon your wings.”
Alvin heard Maya sigh visibly and the due exchanged a few expressions. “No problem, just tell me when you want to start.”
“I would suggest right about now,” Evelyn punctured through the conversation, “While the air is still warm.”
“Why should it matter,” he asked, “does the temperature affect flight?”
Her head shook briefly. “Not quite. Lucius can tell you all about it during the preparation.” The boy replied with a puzzled expression but his sister chose to ignore further debriefing. “Maya, you’ll have to change your clothes. Come with me.”
Evelyn led her down the path and Maya shrugged as she passed by Alvin’s side. “Is there something I missed?” and Lucius patted the youth firmly on the shoulder.
“You ever seen angels summon their wings and ask yourself how they were able to penetrate through the back of their garment without tearing it apart?”
Alvin narrowed his eyes, “Not really. I just took that as part of the summoning process. Why, is that not true?”
“Yes and, no,” he replied steadily. “Usually, when the wings are called out, they tend to grow straight from the back pads below your shoulders. And in your case, the wings are solid, which means that as they grow they’ll attempt to rip apart anything bearing in the way.”
“Let me take a guess Luce,” and the boy scratched the back of his neck, “You have to wield the wings to summon them through your clothes.”
“That comes only with practice and initially a lot of concentration. But for a cadet, you don’t want to involve that much just for the first few lessons. It’s proven to be a waste of time and quite unnecessary towards the mastering of flight. And hey, think of how embarrassed Maya would be.”
“Oh, I see now,” he mentioned while pulling off his shirt.
“It’s a little cold, think you can handle it?”
“I don’t mind the weather, but there’s another matter I need to discuss.”
“Shoot.”
“It’s about Maya,” Alvin mentioned, then rotated to see if she was anywhere nearby.
“Well?” Lucius pressed him.
“I realized only several minutes ago, just how badly she’s terrified of heights.”
The scout raised his jaw and laughed freely, “Is that so?”
“No.” Alvin stated firmly, “It is not a laughing matter. She truly fears it and I’m very worried for her. She might not take it well at all.”
Lucius was still grinning as he spoke and the boy turned on him suddenly. “If you even think about pushing her over the cliff, I will stab my blade right through you, without a slightest hint of hesitation.”
The scout chuckled and threw his own hand over Alvin’s shoulder. “Nah, I’m not that sort. It’s just a bit ironic for an angel. Don’t fret though, I will speak to Evelyn at once. I am quite sure we’ve come up against something like this before.”

A suivre...
Released early only because this one sucks.
The part on Friday after, should be better.
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Old 2003-04-10, 10:23
Atresica Atresica is offline
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I do not think it sucks

It is however that it doesn't make any 'clear' progress, but still is necesarry for the overall story

Keep up!
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Old 2003-04-11, 02:57
Lightwing Lightwing is offline
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I mainly was refering to the diologues. They didn't turn out too well as you can see. Usually, I would post the entire chapter in one go, but this time I just didn't want to flood anybody with a ton of text. At least this way its broken down into smaller pieces where I can also have time to write as I post.
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Old 2003-04-11, 13:54
Atresica Atresica is offline
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That is a nice idea

but 1) what if you wish to make changes which require an addition in a previously posted text
2) Lightwing, let's face it, there are only highly 2 people reading this and both of them don't mind long texts

As for the dialogue, it's not that bad, but it does look like you were strungling with it (and I can perfectly understand that, dialogue is incredable hard)
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Old 2003-04-12, 00:58
Lightwing Lightwing is offline
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WEll, I actually have the entire chapter written. I just thought that if maybe, I brake it into parts more people will read it.
I was wrong
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Old 2003-04-12, 01:06
Lightwing Lightwing is offline
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Chapter 7 - Part IV

Unfortunatly, due to the fact that the forum does not translate some of the fucntions (like italics). So, some of the parts, which should have been italisized, will be hard to understand.

____________________________________

The two girls appeared out of the hills below after a little while. Maya was seen walking slowly behind Evelyn; her skirt now replaced by a single piece of chiton. It was quite red, stretching from the top of her shoulders down just above her knees. Lucius approached Evelyn from the side and spoke something in a low tone, which had made her eyesight turn upon Maya’s figure. The scout grinned, wrinkling her brows in a laid back fashion.
“So, I hear that someone is not too fond of high elevations.” Alvin heard Maya gasp lightly and was forced to bring down his gaze upon receiving a disapproving look from his peer. But Evelyn shook her head, “Nothing to worry over. We get a case like this at least twice a year.”
She came and gently placed a hand over Maya’s shoulder. “How come you didn’t tell me before? I would have made it easier for you.”
The girl stressfully bit her lip and mumbled something which only Evelyn was able to hear. “I don’t want to do this.”
The elder recalled that she must have felt quite embarrassed, wearing an unusual piece of garment and pressured into facing her deepest fears. Evelyn stroke the girl’s dark hair soothingly, “I promise I will take care of everything. But, first you must have my trust.”
Maya raised her eyelids weakly. Their eyes locked and the pair of maids stared at each other for a short moment. Finally, Maya nodded briefly and Evelyn thus kissed her in return. In the back, Alvin picked up a sigh of relief. He raised his small chin, looking upon his sister with a large sense of pride. As fast as she could fly, her biggest skill had always been the ability to soften the heart of another being. It was a vital skill and the boy admired it greatly.
“Then let us begin, we have wasted enough time already,” Lucius punctuated swiftly. “We start by summoning the wings. Maya you shall go first and you, Alvin, watch carefully as she calls them out.”
They made their way to an edge of the pinnacle, a spot where the earth abruptly ceased to run. Maya halted ten paces before the cliff, for she knew what it must have been. But Evelyn gestured that she was safe and took her by the hand.
“The best way to summon your wings is to be in a place where they can be put to use. The peak will provoke your conjuration.”
“Will they tear through my flesh?”
She shook her head distinctly, “Absolutely not. Yes, it will feel very awkward and for a time you shall desire to remove your wings as if they are totally foreign to your body. But fret not, you will get used to them quickly.”
“And if they rip my dress?” she pondered, looking over the back of her shoulder where the chiton exposed much of her back.
Reassurance at this point seemed unnecessary. So, “Hey, common Maya, after all we are a family,” Lucius commented cheerfully and winked at her. She turned her neck to face him and blushed considerably.
“He has a point,” Evelyn chuckled, “Now come; both of you.”
Just then, the winds began to blow strong and Alvin felt a mild chill running over his torso. His sister pressed Maya towards the edge, near to a point where she was only two paces off. Then she placed her hands on the pair of shaking shoulders and squeezed her fingertips lightly into the girl’s body. Instantly, there followed a sharp spasm and Maya’s back suddenly bent outward. A great mass of energy flowed through Evelyn’s fingers, invisible, but sufficient enough to awaken a sleeping force inside of her. It was ancient and felt uncontrollable within the maid’s body.
The scout grasped her hands even tighter as Maya stiffened; her own hands clutching into fists and teeth condensing together. It was not pain that had invaded but a massive force attempting to escape through her.
“Don’t keep it inside,” Evelyn preached her loudly, “wield it!”
It didn’t appear as if she had heard the instructions at the moment. Her body shook violently but then condensed inward and Maya produced a wail as her head brought down. At that point Evelyn was aware that the power was in the hands of the girl and now it was up to her to direct it. She began to draw back, step by step, watching carefully. Maya’s trembling increased, but she held her place and soon it was as if the rumble was migrating into the substance of the flesh. The shaking ceased down gradually and her body grew stiff once more. Then, with a sudden jerk, two bone-like limbs pierced from her shoulder blades. Evelyn was already out of the way when they pushed out with a titanic force, causing the wind to shatter. She screamed, as if in agony, for perhaps it could have been, like a response to the breaking of something pure and untouched. But now they were free, for they had broken through the vestal flesh. Growing strong and scaling larger than her own body. She fell against her knees then, gasping harshly and injecting her fingertips into the dark soil of the summit. Then, leaned over to the side, pressing with her forearm against the ground, panting in deep exhaustion. The back of her dress was indeed ripped, although only cut as far as the bottom portion of her spine.
When Maya finally attempted to rise she discovered that her wings disturbed the original balance and the cadet found herself falling into Evelyn’s arms, with Lucius supporting from another side. Alvin’s expression regarding the entire display was wordless and he stared in awe. He had seen elders summon their wings many times before, but never anything this dramatic. The others were embracing her and giving a hand of congratulations. He witnessed as she attempted to wield her wings, sometimes letting them move without control and other times overdoing the movement. But there was so much joy and Alvin could see the excitement running about her. He felt both proud and left out, and perhaps even a little jealous that she was receiving so much attention.
“Look, Alvin, look,” and she called out for him with tremendous delight, “I can make them wave. Oh, do learn to summon yours so that we can fly together.”
“Rest a bit for now,” and Evelyn patted her gently on the shoulder, “then tell me when you’re ready to fly so that Lucius and I can teach you how to overcome those heights.”
Alvin frowned and looked away for a moment. His sister saw the expression and added quickly. “Alvin, you haven’t been forgotten. I will get to you. But be patient for a little longer, it will take the two of us to work with Maya. Is that alright with you?”
He simply nodded with understanding. “I’m actually interested to witness this myself.”
They made her stand at the very edge where she spent almost an hour scanning the lower scenery. Her phobia proved to be a difficult thing to deal with. Alvin only hoped that she wouldn’t brake into hysteria in the last moment. But it became clear to him that Maya was not as fragile a thing as he had usually envisioned her to be. He had always been protective of her and often worried for her weakness. And this new display of strength had disproved him. He was relieved now to note that his own worries did not lie with her.
And when she boldly released herself into the clouds Maya endured the shock of fear. Not knowing how to flap her wings properly, the cadet let her instincts take over. Deep concentration was upon her and the girl’s eyes were lashed onto Evelyn’s sight. There were directions called out to her, but they were all but noise by the time they reached her. Maya was too frightened to let go off her concentration as the realization to the absence of solid support beneath her feet forced absolute loss of comprehension. It came upon her when she lost her might and shrieked in horror. Her wings abruptly seized to flap and Maya turned furiously about through the air, attempting to grasp something that would prevent her from falling. The world as she saw it around her twirled and twisted into a mess of juxtaposition. Out of the chaos came Lucius, grasping a hold of her by her waist. Her body jolted as her fingertips dived into the fabric of his shirt. Maya attached to him fiercely, letting her hoarse breathing pour against his figure.
This could take a while. Alvin lowered his gaze upon the edge of the cliff. He knocked a pebble with his shoe and watched it fall into the mist. Your appearance does not scare me. He smirked. Not one bit. Of all adversaries you should be the one to fear me. For I can best you without fear. A harsh current of wind rushed into his back and his expression became an iniquitous smile. How eager you seem, to witness your own domination. And mist gathered around him. For you see, I am the bearer of light. The Great duel-winged seraph who enslaved his own master. The wind howled. Do you not recognize me? Have you not heard of my notorious deeds? Just more haze and mist. Worry not. Soon, and he spread the arms across his shoulders. Soon you will.
The horizon before him shifted and then escaped out of sight. He did not want to see it, thus his eyes were closed. But he felt the great velocity increasing and emptiness colliding harshly with his body. And his mind now was no longer filled with condensed thoughts but turned clear like crystal. It was safe now, he knew, and Alvin’s eyelids opened.
A face of a stranger was starring back at him. It bore the appearance of an alien creature, looking like a rabbit morphed into a woman’s form. Her face flashed into a million expressions at once, though the fragment of her sorrow struck his attention the most. He witnessed it as an emotion kept in the interior and tears, which under such affect should have surely shed, were kept under silence. He would remember this face.
Another figure appeared near him; a tall man in light armor with a strip of black fabric covering his eyes. His ears were sharp and his skin was purple. A long silver blade stretched out of his palm. Dead men lay beneath his feet. The one who sees without eyes, Alvin whispered and turned his back. This man can kill him.
A girl with a brunette ponytail smiled at Alvin attractively. Her medallion caught his eyesight. She saw the direction of his gaze and shaking her head mildly blocked it with her own saber. “Prepare to guard yourself,” and a festive expression was upon her. Alvin but shrugged his shoulders. Another time my lady, and she faded away.
In her place was a giant figure of purple substance with energy as bright and furious as it was dark and heinous. It floated before him as a giant head whose features were the reactants of a menace. “I am the mighty God of Destiny and Power,” it spoke to him with sovereignty, “I need your soul.”
You need a haircut, and his existence vanished.
Just then a pair of figures flew past Alvin’s side. They circled somewhere in mid air, bound to one another through an act of passion. The woman had her arms around her partner’s neck while he clutched by the waist, with an unseen part of him deep inside her body. Alvin examined her expression with much curiosity. Was this a sign of pain or pleasure which she had show to him? It became a thing difficult to see as their wings clamorously beat against each other’s. At last, in a moment of intensity she threw her head upward, with eyes glaring at the direction of the boy and almost tearfully, proclaimed a silent scream. He saw her face.
The duo began to melt, morphing into a bright orb of light. Alvin frowned unpleasantly at its radiance and turned. Everything now, bit by bit, began to turn hazy until only one image remained in focus. Before his very eyes stood a man that had bore traits of his own features. It was a tall, masculine figure with a rigid posture and white wings that posed sharply from end to end. The hair which had extended from the top of his forehead was blond and reached down midway at his neck. His appearance was neither hostile nor friendly, but bore a calm expression resembling much like that of the boy.
Father, and he set a foot forward to approach him. But the other just reached out a palm in front of him to halt. The winged angel smiled confidently and reassurance was everyplace amidst his eyes. “The Cliffs my son,” he whispered steadily.
“What?”
And the man who was his father repeated in a firmer tone. “Remember the Cliffs…” Then suddenly, his flat palm slanted and fingers curved as if into a hook. “The cliffs Alvin,” he cried out in Evelyn’s voice, “the cliffs!”
Alvin took a sharp intake of breath and his heart exploded.
Awake, you’re still dreaming!
The boy’s eyelids shot wide open and he saw that a shock was upon him. The vibrant scream of his sister was still ringing all about his ears. Massive winds pierced at him like projectile razors and the air shook. The closest rock in front of him was sticking out like a needle, aiming at his forehead. Alvin resented the shock and with an interior roar of vibration sent an invisible quake wave of his own. And once he felt the power within his grasp he condensed it, pulling back with all its might. The plane of mist below him rippled like water and the lashing of the winds roared with such madness that it numbed his ears. The entire setting began to shift rapidly and everything became distorted. So that when the haze evaporated Alvin found himself rearing upward, ascending the horizon.
You fool, dulte, I could have lost you.
His blond hair and his pants shook altogether as he flew through the clouds. The eyebrows on his face narrowed.
No, my sister, you never would. For I am Alvin the Wielder of Light, son to Gregoreth the Bold and Julia of the Swiftest, and today I have conquered the Mountain.
He slowed down finally when he had reached her, confronting Evelyn on the same level. The face of his sister was stern and displeased. “You are like your father,” she pronounced slowly with tears. And for the remainder of the lesson she did not speak to him again.
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  #22  
Old 2003-04-13, 15:17
Atresica Atresica is offline
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I'm sorry to say that I sort of lost track of the events at "This could take a while"

I do understand which parts should be italic, but I have the feeling I'm missing something.
What did he exactly do? Jump without wings? Fall asleep while falling down? It's just not very clear

For the rest I'm just amazed with your skill
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Old 2003-04-13, 20:28
Lightwing Lightwing is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Atresica
What did he exactly do? Jump without wings? Fall asleep while falling down?
"The horizon before him shifted and then escaped out of sight." -> Is supposed to indicate his fall.

"Haze, clouds, mist..." ->Hints at his loss of consciousness.

"The boy’s eyelids shot wide open " ->The awakening.

"Sent an invisible quake wave of his own." ->I was trying to use this as an allusion to Maya's wing conjuration (there was also a shock wave when she summoned them), without actually writting that he released his wings.

I realize that I applied too much abstract. I plan to revise all these parts.

As always, thank you for your commentary.
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Old 2003-04-13, 22:09
Atresica Atresica is offline
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Hmm, it was just a bit too unclear, I don't know if anyone else experienced this?

*an awefull sillence dominates the fanfiction forum while a tumble weed rolls by*

o....kay...
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Old 2003-04-14, 00:53
Lightwing Lightwing is offline
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Aye. I was also trying to tie in some things with my erlier chapters, althought up to this point that is barely displayed.
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